Features

Satellite Festive Quiz: What does your Christmas Spirit say about you?
October
2009

A quiz meticulously devised by Nicole Smith

1)      Your favourite time of the year is..

a)      Christmas time of course! You love spending time with your friends and family doing all sorts of festive activities.

b)      New Years. The time of the year where you get to party-hop like it’s never been done before.

c)      Every time of the year! You don’t find it fair to other times if you pick a favourite. Every day of the year is a day worth being alive.

d)      A small holiday, probably Thanksgiving or Queens Birthday. You hate to think they’re less significant than other holidays

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The Adventures of Analiese: In search of the mythical Dine-In Pizza Hut
October
2009

 - Analiese Jackson

 I don’t know how much people that aren’t me tend to remember these things, but during the mid 90s, it was really popular to have your birthday party at the Dine-In Pizza Hut Restaurants. You’d turn up, sit politely at the table for all of five minutes, then race the other, equally hungry, party-goers to the buffet table, where you’d proceed to fill your plate with much more pizza than you could ever possibly comprehend eating in one go. You’d gouge yourself on artery clogging goodness, take a brief break by refilling your soda cup and then defy all measures of childhood food to stomach ratios by eating several helpings of creamy desserts. It was not all that uncommon to hear of children throwing up on the way home after an hour or two of pizza mayhem or, occasionally, while you were still at the buffet (maybe they were just making room for more, I don’t know).  While I’m proud to say I never was “that kid”,  these memories were really good times in my childhood. Good times indeed.

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Baking with Brewskies
October
2009

Nathan Calis tries his hand at making dinner time beerable.

It is fair to say that beer and chocolate are two things that rarely gotogether. Like alcohol and exams; bare feet and dog poo; Britney Spearsand underwear, chocolate and beer are rarely associated together.Hence, this was the reason that I was surprised to see Chris fromMasterchef putting a bottle of beer into a chocolate cupcake recipe thatultimately put him in the top three contestants. The mere idea turned my world upside down. Everything I thought I knew was a lie, so I went to do some investigating.

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How To Be Cool
October
2009

With over 80 friends on Facebook, Brendan Liebert* epitomises popularity and what it really means to be cool. As a 21-year-old IT graduate with a 16-year-old girlfriend, Brendan has it made. Nathan Calis, desperate to find out the secrets to being cool and making so many friends, went to interview the man, the legend. He taught Nathan how to be cool in ten simple steps:

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Out Now

Welcome to the brand spanking new Satellite Website!
January
2010

You’ll notice that our website is no longer grey and is also a lot easier to navigate. We’re so thrilled by the recent upgrade, that we thought we’d just take a moment to highlight a few new features:
Brightly coloured tabs: It may make you feel like you’re opening your ring binder from 5th form, but [...]

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News

First Announcement: Orientation 2010 line-up
January
2010

While a few of the details are subject to change, here is the tentative line-up for the Albany Students’ Association 2010 Orientation Week:

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Lecturer of The Year Ceremony held
December
2009

- Stephan Van Heerden
The 5th annual ASA Lecturer of the Year awards was held on the 13th of November 2009. Organised by the ASA, Lecturer of the Year is organised in order to recognise the hard work and dedication of Massey University staff.
The guests were greeted at the door by Women’s Rep Helen van Asch [...]

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Come and see for yourself: Bar adamant that dance party promotional material is inoffensive
October
2009

Analiese Jackson
An event being held at the The Ferguson Bar has caused a bit of a stir for using blatantly sexist advertising for an upcoming event.
 
The dance party, which is to be held in late October, is called ‘Cum ‘ N Sweat’ and the posters feature a picture of a young women’s legs juxtaposed on [...]

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Columns

Issue 15: Welcome to the Jungle
October
2009

- Stephan Van Heerden
 
The last column for the year. As a tribute and as a fitting song, I would like everyone to sing “I’ve had the time of my life” in their heads while they read this:

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Rolling through Life: Fear
October
2009

Fear. It is one of the few things everybody has, whether they admit it or not. It can be many things; fear of feelings, fear of loss, general phobias. For me it was (well, I thought it was) a fear of boats. There is no real way to talk about something like this without bringing [...]

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Exec Watch: Part 5
October
2009

…in which academics take over the board room and all of the exec kindly grace us with their presence…
The 27th meeting of the ASA started with a slight hitch after all of the ASA Exec-ers turned up to the boardroom only to find…there were Massey Staff in there! Eating sushi! Discussing academic things! In [...]

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Reviews

Movie Review: An Education
October
2009

What is an education? Is it merely the devouring of countless academic books and hours spent in characterless classrooms, lectured on concerning subjects that seem irrelevant to your existence? Being forced to free your mind in a decidedly conformist way? Or is it, in fact, actively partaking in the many wonders of the world; experiencing [...]

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Movie Review: Fame
October
2009

Fame, the movie
 
Reviewer: Nicole Smith
Rating: 3/5
You might remember Fame, the original movie. Based on the television program, Fame of the 1980s was really a breakthrough in movie history. It showcased problems within society including forbidden love and abortions, which during the 1980s wasn’t shown a lot on television.
 

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Book Review: Nekropolis
October
2009

Nekropolis
By Tim Waggoner
Reviewed by Marie Green
Matt Richter is an ex-cop, nice guy and zombie who does a little work on the side to fund the upkeep on his slowly decomposing body. A Sam Spade detective novel ‘with a twist’ – Nekropolis is set in a dimension in which all the monsters, from Earth, have moved [...]

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