From Russia With Love #1 & 2 saw the lovely Yulia emailing me and wanting to find a man “for serious relationship”. She sent to fetching photographs and spelt words wrong, proving to me that she is a genuine down to earth Russian girl seeking me and only me. Of course I couldn’t resist her offer and emailed back a little about myself, and am curious how many emails it takes before she asks me for money…

Date: Wed, 12 May 2010 20:26:05 +0400
From: pusechkapusya@yahoo.de
To: paulhenry@hotmail.co.nz
Subject: Re: My name is Paul

Hello!
I am glad that you to answer me again. I have read through your letter with greater interest!
Thanks you for your information on. I am glad also that we have begun our acquaintance. I wish to learn about you it is possible more than various things.
Also I have informed my mum on our acquaintance. First it could not understand as it is possible to get acquainted with the person which is in other country. But I have explained it and now it understands such way of acquaintance.  I always inform my mum almost on all my affairs. I have very much good relations with my mum. We are the best girlfriends.
I wish to know about you absolutely all things. I hope that you will be fair with me. I shall not hide from you anything as I to hate a deceit.
I to speak only the truth always. I consider, that it is better to inform the bitter truth than to deceive the person. I hope me that you understand me. I want the present and fair attitudes.
I can inform you on my last attitudes if it interests you. Here there is no problem. You can ask also any questions which interest you. I shall be glad to answer it. And I think that it will be much easier and faster to learn each other. I have no experience in acquaintance through the Internet and I want that you asked to me any questions. It will be much easier for me! I also want to say that the difference in age does not matter to me. On the contrary, I believe that a man should be older than women.
A few thing about me! My birthday is June,29! My star sign is a cancer. I do not know how to drive a car, I do not know how to work with a male tool. I do not know how to do men’s work =). What i like: I love spending time outdoors, I love fishing, hockey!

I to finish this letter now and I shall wait for your answer with greater impatience!
Your new friend Yulia!

RE: My name is Paul ‏

Darling, your pictures are so beautiful, I love it when women show off their beautiful bodies in clothing like that.

It is lovely to hear about your relationship with your mother. Does she look like you too? Do you think you would ever be able to live far from her? Do you like golden showers? I would love to meet her!

Funny thing! My birthday is also June 29th!!! How strange is that? Would you send me more photos of you?

I am looking forward to hearding from you again, I am really loving getting to know you oxoxoxoxoxox

Re: My name is Paul ‏

Hello  !!!!
I am glad to receive your letter! I am glad that with each new letter we become more close to each other. And it is pleasant for me.
Now I shall tell to you about my former attitudes. These attitudes proceeded 1,5 years. I considered as its second half. I with it were very close. We together spent a lot of time. We went on the nature, had walks with picnic, a romantic supper. It was wonderful. But soon it has ended. It started to apply a plenty of spirit. It became rough and nervous. Every day it all became more awful. I thought that this horror to end soon. But I was mistaken. Once it has arrived home very drunk and it was in female lipstick. I also have found female shorts in his bag and a phone number of the woman. It was last drop of my patience. I have called on that number and to speak with that woman. It spoke that they have attitudes some months. It was strong impact for me. I did not wish to see any man long time. I saw in men only lust to a female body. But my girlfriend recommended to me that I has tried to find the man from other country. Thus I have got acquainted with you.
I wish to connect my life with fair the man. I very much hope that you which such person I search. I hope that this letter was not boring for you!
I to finish this letter now and I shall wait for your answer with greater impatience!
Yours Yulia!!!!

If you have never tasted the delights of an older woman, my friends you are not living life to its fullest. Here is my favourite tale of vintage vagina, which just happens to have happened here at Massey. Those of you who have this goddess as a lecturer will know who she is, and I encourage you to follow your loins and mate with her. She is mind blowing.

It was a dark and stormy winter’s day and the lecture theatre was practically empty. I had roused from my love nest only a few minutes earlier and took a place up front and centre. To my extreme pleasure, the normal shaggy-haired pot-bellied lecturer had been replaced by a queen with a magnificent breast, shiny talons and a glorious outfit which left nothing to my imagination. She began talking and I felt like she was speaking to me and me only, her husky voice, reverberating deliciously in my eardrums, sending vibrations down into my hardening member.

The lecture theatre cleared and we were alone at last. She lay back on her desk and regarded me with her painted eyes, her mouth curved in a seductive smile. Holding my glance she slowly opened her long, shapely legs to reveal a bare, perfectly manicured love canoe, the air suddenly pregnant with the tang of cougar juice. I threw my head back and howled, the first of six orgasms that hour, each one more earth shattering than the last. I leapt out of my seat as she pounced, digging her long red claws into my back and licking me all over. I moaned, she purred. With a swipe she had my clothes off and on the floor, her soft lips cradling my manhood, I felt like I was back in my mother’s womb for the first time since birth, and this I was here to stay.

Siddharth Magazine is in his last year of an engineering degree in computers and electronics, and loves all things to do with computers, technology, gadgets and the internet. In this column he introduces five of the top new gadgets on the market at the moment.

(1) Solar Charger USB Hub:

Today, it’s important to preserve the environment and power, and the only way to do it is by using power sources that are reusable. The solar charger usb hub looks like a standard usb hub, used for connecting multiple usb devices, but it offers so much more. When the solar charge usb is not in use, it can be used as an emergency power supply, as it has a built-in lithum-ion battery, which can be charged with the AC power supply or solar power. It also comes with ten different adapters that can easily charge all the common devices like Mp3 players, handheld consoles, PDA devices and mobile phones such as Blackberry, Nokia, Motorola, HTC, LG, Samsung and Sony Ericsson. So, overall, this amazing portable device is great for charging many devices on the go.

(2) Doxie Portable Scanner for iPhone, iPad and iPod Touch:

This portable scanner is a unique accessory for iPhone, iPad and iPod Touch, as it scans all sorts of documents on the go, and is then able to send those documents to services like Google Docs and Picasa. It scans in 24-bit color, Grayscale (8-bit) and black and white modes with 600dpi resolution. Scanning and sharing is quite easy to perform with this amazing product by using a single multi-action heart button. It can scan all of the documents in PDF, JPEG and PNG file format.

(3) HyperMac Stand with external battery for your iPad:

Recently the iPad was released in New Zealand. The HyperMac Stand is a stylish stand which allows you to iPad, and interact with it better. The HyperMac Stand has two slots where you can stand the iPad at either 18 or 45 degrees, with or without a case, along with a built-in 40-watt-hour rechargeable lithium-ion battery which extends the battery life of the iPad to 16 hours. This new product definitely has a need in the market when it comes to iPad because of it’s usefulness.

(4) Revolutionary Echo Smartpen:

This is a very cool piece of technology from Livescribe. The product is able to capture everything that its user hears and writes, which can then be transferred to a computer via a usb connection. This smart pen comes in 4 or 8 GB memory, which allows us to record about 400 or 800 hours of recordings. This new product has surely a great scope in the future.

(5) Vibration-Powered Generating Battery:

There are a lot of new gadgets in the market currently which help to preserve the environment, and one of them is this new vibration-powered generating battery. These batteries consist of a single battery and a generator that are connected with a small cord. They will be useful in devises like remotes (Ed’s note: Or vibrators!), as there is no need to replace the batteries, they are recharged through vibrations or shaking. More research is currently underway to make the vibration-powered generating battery more efficient, reducing the time required to recharge the battery.

Your grandmother, great grandmother and maybe even your mother grew up and raised families using food saving techniques which are practically obsolete these days. Creative ways of cooking and saving food were a necessity as food supplies were affected by war or recessions, and getting fresh food was difficult.

Below we have a few tips and recipes for prolonging the use of food, which don’t compromise on taste and still deliver wholesome filling food like your granny would make.

To use up fruit which has lost its visual appeal from being in the school bag a few too many times, or in the fruit bowl for too long:

Wash, chop up and place fruit (bananas, apples, pears, oranges, anything…) in a shallow casserole dish with a small amount of water. Bake for about 10 minutes until soft. Mix softened butter, sugar and the dregs of cereal (weetbix, cornflakes, oatmeal, muesli etc) together and sprinkle on top. Bake for another 10 or 15 minutes until the topping it golden. Just like Nana would make.

Tips:

• Add raisins to the fruit and cinnamon or nutmeg to the topping if you have them.
• Collect the dregs of cereal: rolled oats, muesli, weetbix, cornflakes etc and store them in an air tight container for this purpose.
• Eat for dessert with icecream or save for breakfast with yogurt.

To use up stale bread:

You can’t go past bread and butter pudding, simply layer the bread across the bottom of a shallow casserole dish, sprinkle with sultanas or banana pieces or any other fruit you have handy, and sugar and cinnamon. Repeat until ingredients are gone or dish is fill, then in a separate bowl beat four eggs and a cup and a half of milk, and pour over bread. Sprinkle with cinnamon and let stand for half an hour, then bake at 160 degrees until the “custard” created by the eggs and milk, has set and the pudding is golden brown on top (about 40 minutes).

Tips:

• If you want to be really healthy you can use wholemeal bread and trim milk.
• Try to totally cover any fruit with bread to protect it from over-cooking and going hard.

Extra food and money saving tips:

• Utilise what is in season, fruit and vegetables last longer as they have shorter distances to travel to your plate and are usually cheaper.
• Beg, steal or borrow fruit off trees which aren’t being used. You’d be surprised the amount of perfectly tasty, free produce in the backyards of most homes. Keep your eyes out and ask if you can relieve home owners of their extra fruit.

Cougar

Pronunciation: kü-gär\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural – cougars
Etymology: French couguar, modification of New Latin cuguacuarana

A cougar is a female mammal of the homo sapient family, 35-55 years old, found throughout most populated areas. A capable stalk-and-ambush predator, preying on much younger males, cougars can frequently be seen in urban and suburban densely-populated habitats with liquor licenses. A cougar’s preferred prey item is usually, but not always under 25, as cougars prefer to prey on younger men who have hair and get erections naturally. Typically solitary and territorial, cougars have been frequently observed hunting in packs while individual territory sizes depend on terrain, vegetation, and abundance of prey. A cougar’s prime predation hours are late evenings to early mornings and especially during weekends. Cougars will typically leave their cubs with relatives, ex-husbands, ex-in-laws or an overnight sitter while hunting.

Typically, cougars have been known to misrepresent their age to prey due to the normally short duration of predation periods, from one night to several months, and having the advantage of a smokin’ hot appearance allowing them to pass for a much younger animal such as a Puma. Being older, wiser, and highly skilled; cougars pursue younger men more for their unwavering stamina than for materialism as is the case with the Puma. Cougars crave the attention and thrill of an uncomplicated sexually intense relationship that younger men tend to offer. Although the term’s urban use began pejoratively, it is now usually viewed as a compliment, as young men frequently enjoy being preyed upon by an attractive cougar.

Physical characteristics

Cougars are slender and agile standing 5 to 6 foot in height, without heels, with the ideal specimen averaging 36″ inches around the chest, 26″ around the waist and 36″ around the hips and buttocks while weighing anywhere between 100 to 135lbs on average. The cougar’s head is well maintained with a luxurious and frequently dyed mane and a painted-on face. The cougar has 10 claws on their forepaws and 10 shorter claws on their hind paws which typically are painted the same colour. The cougar’s skin varies in colour from specimen to specimen and even between siblings due to natural skin pigments, make-up, sun exposure and spray on tans. Hair colour, design or absence of hair in the pubic region of the cougar varies according to the cougar’s preference and whether the carpet will match the curtains, but typically the hair is darker than the mane in which the norm is a landing strip or a small semi-triangular patch.

Examples of cougars are; Kim Cattrall, Kim Basinger, Catherine Zeta Jones, Courtney Cox, Demi Moore, Faith Hill, Daryl Hannah, Tyra Banks, Vivica Fox, Andie MacDowell, among many other famous specimen.

Use in a sentence:
I smell like I’ve been mauled by a cougar all night.

“Hey Jerry, I’m about to go buy this girl a drink, want to come along? I think she has a friend next to her”
“Naw, theres a cougar in the corner that seems to be stalking me, I’m going to hold out for her”

Student 1: What happened to you last night? You were with us at the bar then you just kind of disappeared.
S 2: Dude, I was attacked by a cougar last night.
S 1: Fuck.

Is she a Cougar?

Here’s a simple equation to work out whether she is a cougar or not:

Take her true age*, divide it by two, and add seven = your age or younger, then she is a Cougar.

For example, a 40 year old woman scoring a 27 year old (or younger) male, would be classified as a cougar.

* A true Cougar would never lie about her age.