Did anyone receive presents for Christmas of the variety that you stare at for a while as you try to figure out what it is? During this time, of course, you have that smile plastered to your face and are insisting that it’s all you’ve ever wanted. Well, once again I fell victim to this phenomenon – this year I received a ‘star-book’. For those not in the know like I was, it’s a little book that you stick photos into of your loved ones and then carry them around to show people. Isn’t that what camera-enabled mobile phones are for? Or wallets for that matter? I really don’t have much use for a pretty little book that will sit in the depths of my handbag.

Hope you guys all had an awesome summer holiday…I certainly had several moments where I laughed ridiculously hard. During a family holiday to Christchurch in early January, my super-cool 18-year-old brother insisted that we should try ghost-riding in our rental car – a Honda Odyssey people mover. After the initial explanations regarding the basics of what it is (a whole bunch of people dance along the street while the car moves slowly along with the doors open and an absent driver) we decided to give it a go. If you can picture my parents dancing along the street (we’re talking late-50s) with rap music blaring out and a grinning 18-year-old, I think you’ll understand why I laughed so hard.

I have decided to take the advice of a friend who thinks the ticket to fun is attending gay bars, mardi gras and hero parades. “Why the hell not?” were precisely the words used. Apparently, “As a heterosexual when you go out, it’s the same old. But with these kinds of people it’s just so much fun because everybody is dancing and having a good time.” Well, sounds like a fun night out to me, so I’ll report back to let you know how it goes.

No offence to all those Facebook fans, but surely there’s some people out there like me who are just sick of hearing about it. I went along to a party last weekend, and I swear every second word was “Facebook”. This appeared in sentences such as:

• “Oh my God, that’s totally gonna be a Facebook photo!”
• “Cool, I’ll add you to my Facebook”
• “You guys suck if you don’t have Facebook”

I am aware of its supreme networking powers and it being the drug of the internet, but do people realise what they sound like when they go off on their little Facebook rampages?

I think this might have been the highlight of my summer break: Collecting a shrink-wrapped carton of 12 boxes (144) condoms from a young male pharmacist with a strange look on his face. Yes, I agreed to some free condoms on my last visit to the FPA clinic, but not a truckload! The nurse prescribed me 12 boxes when one would have been quite sufficient. So I think I’m sorted in that department ‘till about 2030, by which time I might not need them anyway…