Ok freshers; don’t do what I’m doing right now. Don’t leave ANYTHING to the last minute. I’m in a frantic scramble to get everything done. 2 assignments, 3 poems and 1 article. I’ve said before make a plan and definitely stick to it. Looks like this issue of Satellite is going to have two late applications…

There was talk in the last issue that we are not offensive enough. Not edgy. We don’t spurn discussion. So I thought that in this issue I would talk about the abortion of gay black Jew babies just to get some tempers flared and some people all riled up and in a fuss. But then I thought against it, not my style – and I didn’t feel like getting stabbed this week. However, I do agree that in some ways we are quite tame in terms of Uni magazines. Is that a problem? No, not necessarily. We aren’t offensive, because we don’t need to be. I feel that some Uni magazines talk far right or far left just for the sake of being edgy and for the sake of causing disruption and unnecessary hype. It’s almost like the tabloids…

But then that got me thinking. Maybe that’s a good thing. We don’t get to read about anything nearly as “unfiltered” in the mainstream as we do in Uni magazines. So then we should really write about what interests us most and should be aired in a public setting however “offensive” it may be. We might never get the chance again. I highly doubt the New Zealand Herald would accept my rant about aborting babies, in fact they might refer me to some sort of psychiatric help, or the police.

However, this begs the question, what do we deem “offensive”? I read this week that President Obama had casually remarked that he bowled like he was “in the Special Olympics.” Now naturally the media made a storm out of this and he later apologised and invited members of the Special Olympics team to visit the White House and give him a game at bowling or basketball. Now, I personally didn’t find that offensive. He was making a joke based upon a widely recognised symbol of disability. He didn’t directly go to a centre for disabled people and pull their wheelchairs out from under them or run off with their false limbs. However the media treated it like he did and then the good ole’ public got all riled up and angry-like. Why? Because he is the President, and presidents just don’t act like that do they? But this is Barack Obama. The President who used Twitter for his campaign. Who couldn’t let go of his BlackBerry. He is even the first president who uses email in the White House. In 2009. I kid you not. He is the hip, cool, everyman president. So you would expect him to at least have a sense of humour. Just like the average Joe, he is representing. That’s all he was doing. He was humanising himself. Now, when you flip this around to me, average Joe it’s a different story. I highly doubt people would kick up a fuss if I wrote “shit” in this article? What about “fuck”? Why is that? What if I said that doing road work on the Albany highway outside Massey at 3pm in the afternoon is retarded? I said retarded, implying that the planners of said construction work were mentally disabled, or were physically handicapped. I wouldn’t know if they are for sure but I said it anyway. Is this offensive? I don’t think so. It’s part of my everyday language. Not because I lack the necessary vocabulary to function as a normal, intellectual person, but because, well frankly, it’s just become habit. No one has really had a problem with it, or confronted me about it, so why change? If it doesn’t offend people then it must be ok. If it does, then why haven’t they approached me and said “Hey Stephan, I’d rather you didn’t say shit or all those other nasty words”? Are they scared of offending me? Offending me with their preference and good manners? Who knows?

So, you may ask me “Stephan what’s your point?” Well the point is this, my friends: if you have something to say, say it. If you want to do something do it. However, don’t be a dick. Don’t laugh at the deaf kid (even though he might not hear you), don’t flip the bird at the blind guy and definitely don’t challenge the guy in crutches to a running race. It’s just not cool. But don’t be scared to make jokes. Its humour, it’s what makes us human. New Zealand is a very scared country. Scared of offending people. We want to be everyone’s friend. We are way too politically correct. I guess it’s up to us, the new generation to change that. Don’t have fear. That’s all from me my fellow freshers, hope I offended you somewhat. I’m off to break some kids, while smoking and swearing. I’ll be at the Ferg after.