Ok freshers, here’s the deal. I’m gonna make some announcements:

• 1) Come to the mid winter beach bash on the 10^th of July. Tickets are selling out fast so hurry
• 2) Drink more beer, it’s essentially liquid bread so it’s good for you.
• 3) Don’t wear the same shirt as me (that means you, Rawa).
• 4) Have a good day.

That’s it pretty much all the announcing I’m gonna do for now. Now back to business. How is life? First semester is almost over. How has it treated you? Hopefully as well as it has treated me.  Has Uni been everything you expected it to be? Made some friends? I’m pleased to say I have. Got some awesome peeps from Comm’s who I hang out with. (You know who you are). I won’t name you for fear of leaving someone out and then having one of those “well this is awkward” situations. Perhaps you have found more than just friends. Perhaps you have found a special someone. It seems very likely; I mean you both are doing the same course, so you instantly have something in common. And what about the ASA and all the other forms of support available to you, have you made use of them? I’ve got to say the ASA are a lovely bunch, most of them. Except that president guy….

Now, enough from me, I want some letters from you people, I want you to share some of your experiences. I want to know how you have enjoyed (or not enjoyed) Uni. I want to know some tricks you might have learnt. I would like to know if this column has served you well or if it has merely been toilet (or bath) reading. Send your responses to the editor (email address is at the front) with the subject “Welcome to the Jungle Response.” I would like to post some of the responses so let me know if you want it posted. I’ll respect your privacy if you ask for it and give you a really cool fake name, like Mike Honcho or Douglas Proctor. Or if you are a lady, Penelope Lovegrove or Jennifer Duffberry. Yeah, those’ll do.

Now, for this article I had requests for a song. Instead, I will give you a story about a song. The place is Venice. The weather is cold. I…. am drunk [I totally didn't see that bit coming - Ed] . I’m on a bus tour in Italy and myself and 2 other awesome people are the only Kiwis on board with 20 Australians. Needless to say we need to represent. Now, with bottles of wine in hand, we start to sing. The first words to come out of our mouths are those of the national anthem. Yes you heard me, I sang the national anthem (Maori and English) in the middle of the night, on the streets of Venice, while being so drunk I couldn’t “spell my own face.” That went down well, and the Italians were confused by our tactics, so they just smiled. Next up in our repertoire was none other than, “why does love do this to me” by the exponents. Classic kiwi drinking song. We had fun that night. The moral you ask? No moral really. Just a simple message: don’t forget who you are. No matter where you are. No matter who you are with. No matter how ridiculously drunk you are, don’t forget who you are.  Uni isn’t there to change you, it’s to add to you and make you who you are. Don’t think that just because you come to Uni you should “grow up” and forget those from the past. As I said in my first article”Do not fear the unknown or be weary of the unfamiliar but embrace the new and unexplored.”

On a completely unrelated note, to finish of this episode, I need strong men and women to join me in overthrowing the current ASA Executive. Well just the president, he’s ticked me off something nasty, wearing my shirts and coats. So if you can swing a sack of door handles (you must provide them yourself), like being in a loosely organised guerrilla political movement and want to aid me in claiming control over this mighty campus nation, then contact me and we shall fight for our rights…..to party? Stay classy freshers, I’ll be at the Ferg.