If nautical nonsense be something you wish…

Okay, okay, i know you all get it. There’s a ball coming up. it’s on a boat. And, clearly, i’m excited (you can see my photo for proof!). I’ve ironed and folded my best nautical themed pashmina-afghan; packed my swim trunks AND my flippy-floppies and tried to think of the most awful marine – related puns in order to bring the sweet,soothing sound of the sea to Massey Albany.

If you didn’t manage to grab a ticket to the ball and reading about it gives you that sinking feeling, there’s no need to abandon ship! There are plenty of other things happening on campus in the next few weeks. The ASA AGM is happening on Wednesday 29th July, which i’m afraid probably won’t be as thrilling as the ball, but it’s a little bit like voting on election Day in the sense that it’s your civic duty to come along and give the ASA executive members a hard time. After all, it is your money that the executive is spending and, if I were you, I’d want to know where my funds were going other than Rawas’ perfectly embroidered shirt (I’ve tried to hold it in, but I can’t much longer: I really hate those executive shirts. More specifically, I hate the colour, because it shouldn’t even be considered a colour. is it blue? is it grey? Does it even know? Bleurgh…).

I digress. My point (because, surprisingly, i have one) is that you, as fee paying members, should be there to tell the exec how to do their jobs properly. i’ll be there, lurking in the back of the room, dictaphone in hand, waiting to catch them out if ever they make a mistake. You should be too, except perhaps you should leave your dictaphones at home. That could be perceived as a little creepy. Unless, of course, you want the sweet sounds of Mr. Karetai to put you to sleep later on at night. Which, come to think of it, is also rather creepy….

Men’s Fest is also happening on the 5th August, where, if you’re a guy, you can celebrate having the vote since 20,000 BC; stroke your facial hair and eat some red meat. Actually, I have no idea what the real point of Men’s Fest is given that, historically, men are the less oppressed of the sexes, but I’m sure there is a somewhat legitimate reason for holding this event. In any case, cruise on over and sea what it has to offer. i know i will.

I want to know what floats your boat…

Universities, theoretically speaking, are filled with Very intelligent People studying Very intelligent subjects and Learning stuff (with ‘how not to use capitalisation excessively’ being one of the many things taught). Without trying to sound too much like a Massey prospectus, university is a place for expressing ideas, sharing opinions and obtaining new ways of critically evaluating the world we live in. it’s a place for discussing a variety of different topics, from the relevance of film noir in cinema today to how many beers you can scull in a night. Yes, university is designed for all of these things, most of which involve communication

Which is why, in this issue, i’m asking all of you to give me some form of feedback on what you really think of Satellite. What is it that makes you either turn the pages and have a good read each fortnight or decide that the particular issue you’re holding in your hand would make a better bin-liner? What type of things make you want to devour all 32pages in one sitting or make you recoil in horror? Tell me all!

You’ll find our beautifully crafted form on the page next to this one or, alternatively, you can find it online at satellite.ac.nz . Choice!

Hope this issue blows you out of the water!