Hello there Massey, welcome to your politics-slash-women’s issue of satellite. Now, having no experience as a woman (I think…) I’ll write a bit about politics. Now politics isn’t just about old men making fun of each other in parliament. It can be quite fun. It’s the basis of society and social interaction. It’s what countries are made of. So, today, you get to read Stephan’s Guide to Starting your own country.

Now, in an ideal world, what you will start off with is:

1x egomaniacal dictator type

1x large region of land with perhaps sea access, fresh water, natural resources

Billions of dollars

Loyal followers

Now, like I said, this is an ideal situation yet it’s highly unlikely.  What you will most likely have is a small group of die hard followers who are perhaps sick of the current political regime. You might have your own house, or an abandoned lot somewhere filled with crud. In most cases this will do. As long as you have all your paper work done, you should be able to start your own country in no time. Firstly you want to set up a constitution or some sort of bill of rights, as that will keep the UN happy. Try and get stamps, currency and passports all sorted. If your new “country” is within the confines of another, this is where it could get interesting. Best bet would be to write a letter to the local governing body requesting to be officially recognised as a separate entity. Now is the time to declare your independence as a nation. They might laugh at you. Or say you can’t do it. Or blah blah blah. But seriously, just keep writing. And once they see the anti aircraft guns nestled among the crud on your abandoned lot, then they might start taking you seriously. That or the 5-0 might come a-knockin’.

Once your independence is declared, go nuts. Try get some taxes going. You can maybe make it a haven for free thinkers and intellectuals like yourself. This could be your haven where all you do every day is laze about being basked in the glory of your loyal subjects. You might want to get some arts and crafts going or sell your stamps as a novelty thing. Either way, you want to make some money, because seeing as you are no longer part of your country, you can’t claim the dole or anything. Other than that you should be set.

Starting your own country should be fun and quite interesting. You could try a new brand of communism. Or try that free market thing. Libertarianism is the new fad these days. Just don’t mess it up like Saddam or Pol Pot and go around and start killing people. It’s just not cool and it’s kinda counterproductive to kill your own (reasonably small) population.

Whatever you choose, I hope to have a peaceful alliance with your great nation. If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to train some squirrels and find some anti aircraft guns.