- Stephan Van Heerden

The last column for the year. As a tribute and as a fitting song, I would like everyone to sing “I’ve had the time of my life” in their heads while they read this:

Hey freshers, that’s the last time I’ll be able to call you that. I guess that, next year, I’ll have to come up with something else. And it also means I should come up with something whacky and extra special for this very last posting of Welcome to the Jungle.

Every year end requires a “wrap up” or review. I’ve chosen some of the interesting events to befall Massey Albany this year. Sure, some of them have been chosen basically because they involve me, but I mean, I don’t want to blow my own horn or anything, but I am pretty fuckin awesome. With a capital O. No, but seriously, a lot of stuff happened this year, most of which was pretty interesting. Let’s have a look at what happened:

The year started off pretty good. We won the Small Campus Trophy at Uni games [and at Snow Games! – Ed], which was spectacular, so good job guys and gals. On a related note, later in the year we came 3rd overall at the Tertiary challenge. This definitely shows Massey Albany’s natural talent at being kickass at sport, but also being kickass at partying and stuff.

Now speaking of parties and such, there were many such times this year. The ball for one was AWESOME and props to the guy who jumped off the boat, you actually made my night. That was hilarious and took some balls to jump into Auckland Harbour. There was also O-week and… and…. all the other times…. most of which were spent at The Ferg. This being the year of 21st birthdays (well, birthdays in general, unless of course you were born in a leap year, in which case it sucks to be you) many were held at The Ferg. There was that whole boycott thing that happened. That will probably go down as the most scandalous thing to happen at Massey (unless Rawa ends up revealing himself as an alien or something). Kinda sad to think the whole thing hasn’t really been resolved at years end, but hey, its only October, so let’s see what happens.

In other scandalous news, people from all round the country seemed to get their knickers in a twist when I (satirically) tried to overthrow Rawa for Presidency of the ASA, because he wore the same shirt as me. While the majority of people saw this for the joke it was, not a lot of other people did. Hilarity ensued. Later on in the year, I tried doing it the proper and democratic way, but still lost. Maybe I should take this on board and go stack cards or something.

In other ASA-related news, this year saw Mr. Brad Heap still very much on the student politics scene, which sometimes was refreshing (and sometimes a bit annoying) but always entertaining. Also, Mr Steve-O “Colgate”-“Debt Monster”- (this guy has too many nicknames) Freeland, managed to realise the absurdity of his low pants silliness (mind you it did take a Facebook group organized by the Satellite Editor to do so).

Our beloved Satellite magazine was there to capture it all. However, it was used as a bitching ground on most occasions, which provided for much chuckling and chortling amongst the students at Massey Albany. Oh, and on July 10th, I gave away almost 300 hugs to students in the Atrium courtyard. That was pleasant [For Stephan,haha – Ed.].

I hope you all enjoyed my short and sharp recap of what happened this year. See yo next year freshers, I hope that the jungle has treated you well, taught you something, strengthened you, and helped you make some friends. All the best, stay safe over summer, wear sunscreen (in fact, YouTube “Sunscreen Song” for your dose of inspiration, seriously do it) and as always, I’ll be at the Ferg.