Hello freshers!! First set on university exams are right around the corner!!! Stressing much? I am. I only have 2 exams, so my heart goes out to those guys and gals who have heaps more. Now, here come my words of wisdom: DONT FREAK OUT!! University exams aren’t that different from school exams.

I hate exams, not in the teenage “exams-are-stupid-poo” sense of the word. I hate what they represent. I think they are not an accurate representation of what someone has learned throughout the year, and if your strength lies in recall of information and not essay writing then you are at a disadvantage already. I don’t think that your whole years achievement should boil down to one 2 hour sit down. If you have been doing well throughout the year and you bomb in the exam then your final result is not pleasant. However, they are a fact of life, and as we know, life isn’t fair, so the best you can do is prepare or just take papers that have no exams!! Now, I could tell you some tips that might help you do better in your exams or help you study for them, but I’m not. Just do what feels right for you. Instead I’m going to unearth some interesting ideas to make exams a bit more enjoyable:

- Wear a silly hat, silly hats tend to make any situation more enjoyable.

-Get insanely drunk before hand and see what happens.

-Bring an orange or mandarin, and draw a face on it. Then, pretend it is giving you all the answers by holding it up to your ear, nodding and then writing down the answer. Remember the ritual sacrifice after the exam.

-Slowly start undressing (this requires a few layers on before hand).

-Keep asking the examiner for answers.

-If you finish early, pretend to fall asleep, and then at 5 minutes before the exam is due to end, scream “OH SHIT” and start frantically writing on a blank piece of paper.

-Write your exam in Aramaic or some other ancient language.

-Write your exam in Wing Dings.

-Bring a novelty oversize pen and write your exam with that.

-Turn your exam paper upside down and write the whole exam upside down (extra points if you alternate the orientation every page).

-Write your whole exam using lyrics from songs.

Hope these tips serve you well freshers, good luck for your exams!! At least you have a good bit of holiday to look forward to afterwards, and Beach Bash before the start of next semester!! Study hard freshers, I’ll be at the Ferg.