Author: Dale Carnegie

Reviewer: Ying-yue Zhao

Rating: 6 out of 10

You may be forgiven for thinking that self-help books have only started to be written in the last few decades. But books like How to Win Friends and Influence People have been around since the 1930s, way before Dr Phil or the Atkins diet. The author Dale Carnegie, originally ran public speaking courses for business men and women of New York but he quickly realised that people not only needed to learn how to speak, they also desperately required training on how get along with one another. This book worked its magic by selling more than 16 million copies in the last seventy years. Although the book was first published in 1937, it was constantly revised and updated until the author’s death in 1955.

The revised book has four parts: Part one is fundamental techniques in handling people; Part two is six ways to make people like you; Part three is how to win people to your way of thinking; and Part four is how to change people without giving offence or arousing resentment (be a leader). Each part is further broken down into chapters, which provides several universally functional principles and accompanying anecdotes of situations when the principles would come into play.

Since a lot has changed in the last century, I was curious to see how such principles were still relevant to the present day. Values that people hold today are hugely different to those of Dale Carnegie’s day. Indeed some of the stories that the author employed to illustrate his point were a bit outrageous like how Abraham Lincoln was challenged to a duel because he insulted someone and from then on refused to criticise people. The constant name-dropping of famous people to prove a point was rather annoying, it felt as though the author was going out of his way to externally validate his principles.

The writing style was flamboyant, egotistical and understandably old fashioned. It painted a picture of a world where white males ruled in business and at home, a picture that had me a bit disconcerted. At times I felt I was told to manipulate people rather than make friends with them. Examples of this include: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests or Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers. I genuinely hope that is not how all friendships work in the business world. Someone who had also read the book commented to me that it was the typical American attitude – confident and arrogant. I sure hope they are wrong.

Despite how much I despised aspects of the writing style, the post-depression theme seems more relevant today than ever before. The need to build or rebuild professional relationships is crucial if a business is going to survive rough financial times. Also, most of the principles that were put forward in the book can still be applied today (if you ignore the stupid anecdotes). Such recommendations like If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically or Give honest and sincere appreciation are timeless and ever pertinent.

I can understand why it has sold millions but it doesn’t mean that I like it. You may have come across a parody of this book called How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, which was adapted into a mediocre film last year. I guess parodies are in a way is a testament to the success of the original subject matter.