Hey there freshers, how’s thing going? Third week of semester huh? Had a good Re-O week?

I’m writing this at 1am for you, while watching the second Jackass movie. I’m laughing still at the gags they pulled. I’ve got to say though it’s a different type of laugh. What makes humour become different as time goes on? I mean, I remember back in primary school when fart noises were the pinnacle of humour. I would get the hugest case of the giggles of someone let one rip or at least made the sound of it. Come to think of it, fart noises are still pretty funny. Heh. Poop.

But that’s neither here nor there; we’re here to talk about the issues. Important hard hitting stuff like crime, poverty, politics. Right? I guess we could. Or we could talk about blah blah blah …

Right there was where I got bored and started browsing Facebook. It’s now 2am. I’ve got to say that these days it’s hard to find motivation to do anything anymore. I’ve been in holiday mode too long. All I want to do is play SimCity. Or eat. Or just sleep. I guess some things never change. What are some strategies you use to stave off boredom? Seriously get them in to me, I need them. I’ll reward you with beer, when I get round to it.

I’m sorry freshers, this week’s edition is turning into an epic fail of a column. If this were the future, perhaps you would be able to watch me as I presented the column as a video, yet still in the nice crispy format that you have all come to know and love of Satellite. Then perhaps I could do a dance for you. Or maybe even a small song.

I’ll tell you one thing; I went to see Bruno this week. It was actually pretty hilarious. That guy Baron Cohen has balls, I tell ya. I mean who else would go to the head of a terrorist cell and insult Osama Bin Laden. I’m amazed he got out of there alive. But it got me thinking about my current situation. No, I’m not angry at western civilisation. I’m more wondering where my “balls” went. The other night a friend of mine texted me and said I should come out. It was 1am, but I knew I would have had a great night if I had gone and met up with them. However I hesitated. Why? Because I was scared of the wrath of my parents. I also had work the next day and so I didn’t want to be in bad shape for that. I to and fro’d for the better part of an hour until my mum went to sleep and I debated sneaking out to go meet up with them.  Me, a 20 year old man, scared of my mum. Sure there’s a line between fear and respect. While I still live in their house (free of charge I might add) it is probably in my best interests to respect them and abide by their rules, but at what point should it start to impact my life? There was a time when I was working 2 jobs, and would finish at 1am and then head out to town. Granted I was a younger man back then but I still did it. I made sure though that I was quiet when I got back home. Who cares how I felt the next day? I powered through it. That attitude made sure I had some great times with some great people. I’m scared though that I have lost my edge. The “fear” has come back. When I got back from Europe I had confidence. I lived life with “no fear.” I would go up to randoms in a bar and start a conversation. But now, it seems like I keep looking over my shoulder to see if people are judging. How do I fix this? Shrug it off and just get back in there? Or is it my circumstances that dictate my action? If there’s one thing I wish for right now, is to have Sacha Baron Cohen’s balls. Not his actual testicles, that’d be weird. But his confidence. His attitude that says “I’ll do it; I don’t give a fuck, and then I’ll laugh about it.” If everyone had that attitude, I reckon we would have an awesome time.

I’m off to find the fun freshers. I’ll be at the Ferg.