Ok boys and girls, here we are again. It’s now assignment time and exam time is just round the corner. Scared? I am. I’ve really been thinking about my decision to come to Uni these last couple of days. I’ve grown tired of studying, being poor, and giving a shit. Sure, call me lazy, you are probably right, but I’m a bit “meh” at the moment about this whole tertiary education thing. Don’t get me wrong I like coming to Uni, seeing my friends, having a beer at the Ferg and all that, but to be honest it seems like a steep trade off to what I’m losing. What about you freshers? Lost a bit of steam? It’s ok, you’re not alone. In the infamous words of Paul Henry, we should “start a group.” This boredom has created a monster. Last week I stayed up until 4am every night to do assignments. Why? Because I liked the rush; the challenge. Stupid idea. It also happens to be 2am right now.

For creative writing, I wrote a poem about swine flu. Why? Because I felt like it. I also wrote a short story about writing a short story, just to be cheeky. Why did I do all these things? I mean, technically they fit the criteria of the assignment, I didn’t NOT do anything, but I didn’t really try, did I? Well freshers, do as I say, not as I do. Don’t stop trying. I will try to try harder from now on. I guess I’ve been in holiday mode since semester break. It’s easy to stop caring, and harder to start caring. If only I applied the same effort to Uni as I do to drunken missions, then maybe I would have a PhD by now.

An example you ask? Everyone loves a good mission story. Last Thursday was a bit rough. Went to the Ferg, because, well, frankly I like the place, cheap drinks and a good time, ’nuff said. Anyways. Got hilariously drunk beforehand, and then more so at the place. Round came 12pm and we decided to call it a night. Me and my mate Kaleb were dropped off at my house. We decided that we were hungry, so we decided to head to McDonalds for a midnight feed. I live in Unsworth Heights. The closest McDonalds was at Windsor Park. We couldn’t drive. Walking seemed like the best idea. We were so eager in fact that…..we….RAN, full tilt, on Constellation Drive, as if McDonalds was a sanctuary from a horde of zombies. Anyways, we ran there and went through the drive thru. The drive-thru guys were a bit hesitant to serve us as they thought we were walking. However we managed to convince them that we were indeed in a car, it was merely invisible. They were happy with our explanation and we got our food. And ate. We felt like kings. Kings with double cheeseburgers and regular drinks with no ice. Life was good. We were still hungry though. So went back for more. Once again we felt like kings. Satisfied for the second time, we decided our next course of action. Filled with the nutritious goodness only McDonalds can offer, we decided that we can party all night long. So we decided to head back to the Ferg, it was only 1am, heaps of time. So we walked from Windsor Park to the Ferg. Wait, we RAN. Up the Rangi hill. Good times. Until the police stopped us and reminded us that the footpath is there for a reason. We figured that running, each with our own lane, in the middle of the night probably wasn’t the best idea. It was fun though.

Kaleb was winning because he fitter than me. And everyone knows that my strength isn’t in my legs, it’s in my….erm…..anyways. Now, inebriation combined with oxygen deprivation leads to memory loss, so I’m not too sure what happened next, but we were in bushes, for reasons unknown to me. I think we were hiding from something (I vaguely remember a cat or something but I can’t be sure), but lo and behold, there was Massey and the FERG!!! We were so happy that we decided to run. We had made it. The bouncers recognised us from before and let us right in. Unfortunately the time now was 2.30am. The Ferg closes at 3. We ordered water and sat down. HILARIOUS. Here we were, kings without a kingdom. Sobering up, and with no tail to chase, we chilled. If we could chill anymore, we were freezing, 2am is cold!! We managed to get a ride home with our friend Bianca, who is awesome. (Yes you are =) ).  Now, you are asking me “What the hell Stephan??” and I’m like “Whoa chill.” And you’re like “Nah, you chill…” and I’m like “Dude.” Then we relax and I explain what I mean.

Uni is a mission. Uni is McDonalds. Uni is the Ferg. It’s a bitch of a road there. It’s tough going. You will want to give up and head home to bed heaps of times. But with good mates with you, helping you, you’ll get there. It might not be the ending that you are after, but it will be a hell of a ride. Run, walk, crawl, and hide in bushes, whatever. Go on the mission, because nothing sucks more that heading home when you aren’t done partying. Only a couple weeks before midyear, give it your best these last few weeks. I’ll match ya and see you there. Peace out, I’ll be at the Ferg.